Merry meet, Dear Seeker,

Now I'd like to move on to my reasons as to why I created these posts on what love is and is not.  One of my friends and myself had recently gone through a break up; not with each other, but with different people.

My boyfriend wasn't really accepting or understanding of my allergy. He was also starting to force his vision of what I was and wasn't on to me. He couldn't see me in my full light, he only saw half of me and made-up the  rest. To make matters worse, he made me the center of his world. I was his everything. He thought of me as his soul mate and that I was the only one for him. He disrespected me by viewing me as this pure-hearted-cute-girl. He was over the top romantic, as well. He complained that he couldn't kiss me and wanted to do romantic things like go out to fancy restaurants. To make matters worse, he kept embarrassing me in public. He clearly wanted to have sex with me and kept bringing up the topic indirectly. He'd say things like "I can't wait till we are alone" and wink at me and he even flat out told one of my friends, after she made a joke about us having sex and I told her I was a virgin, "for now" with a drooling over-the-top love face on Facebook. These actions turned me off to him. I told him my boundaries, and he ended up ignoring them in the end. I ended the relationship before things could get worse and he kept calling me and contacting me, trying to get back together with me. Finally I told him to drop it, thankfully he did. I was ready to call the police on him for stalking me.

I don't know the full details of my friend's relationship, but I know that they were bad enough for him to break it off. He posted a status on FB and I responded to it with the beginning of part 1 of "What is Love??" and it just moved on to this blog. I hope you all enjoyed reading this and I hope that it will help you understand what love and what love is not.

Blessed be and merry part, Dear Seeker )O(

Merry meet, Dear Seeker,

True Love is not just a sexual relationship. In fact, someone who is truly in love is most likely willing to never, or very rarely, have sex with their partner. Of course, people who are truly in love may want to have sex with each other (sometimes more often than not). Lovers respect each other, so if one does not want sex, the other will accept that. If you need sex in a relationship, then you are not truly in love. Deep love is a state of mind, spirit, and body. Someone who is truly in love can use their mind and spirit to control the urges of their hormone driven body.

In fact, true love can be divide into three categories:

The first is friendship/sibling love. Friendship is a type of deep love that is not sexual or even romantic; however I am aware that "Friend's with Benefits" maybe an exception to this. You are there for them as much as they are there for you. You care about each other and support each other. You can feel betrayed at times, but you can also forgive. Friendships, like partnerships, can end.

The second is a Partnership. This love can be sexual and/or romantic. It's when you have a husband, a boy/girlfriend, and/or a romantic party (a group of three or more lovers who are in an agreement to be together and know of each other). Sex and romance is not needed, but most the time it is there. You support and care for each other.

The third is parental/maternal love. It is the love that a parent has for their child. Sadly, not all parents have this love for their children, but for those that do, it is a deep never-ending love.

In a way, A Wiccan's Coven can fall into all the categories.  As a Wiccan, I understand that this maybe classified as a fourth love, but I am placing under these three love categories. It is a family type love with the members acting according to each love and differently from one another.
Merrry part and blessed be, Dear Seeker. I may create a part 3 later.

Merry Meet, Dear Seeker,

Athena believes that the purest kind of love is love of the mind.  As a follower of Athena, I believe that her wisdom has much to teach us. Allow me to dive into what "Love of the mind" truly means.

Making someone into your whole world is just as unhealthy of a relationship as being in an abusive relationship. When you make someone into your whole world, you throw away yourself respect. Yes, you love them, but they are not your world. You are just as important as they are. When you are in a relationship, you both are equals. Love is a partnership. There needs to be a balance and a respect to it. Respect of oneself and of the other. If neither of these are met, then the relationship is doomed for failure. You will need to compromise on things and work through tough times. If there is no respect for oneself or the other, then the compromises you will need to make will fail and you will not be in a truly loving relationship.  

Love isn't mushy-gushy, like how the movies paint it out to be. It's way deeper and more complicated than that. Yes, there is romance to it, but its not what one normally thinks its going to be. For some people, overly romantic situations, like a romantic dinner, can be a turnoff. It can even scare some people away from you because they will feel the need to return that level of romantic -ship, and that may not be how they express love. Camping under the stars and looking for shooting stars can be a better date than eating at a fancy restaurant. A hug can mean a lot more love than a kiss. Yes, those other things are nice and can be romantic, but they aren't everyone's idea of romance or deep love. 

In fact, love has a maturity level. Different people have different levels of maturity when it comes to love. For those you think movie romance is how love should be, they have a younger, or even child-like, level of love. They don't know how love should be and turn to movies to tell them how they should act when in a relationship. However, romantic love and deep love are two different things. Deep love is often referred to as True love. True Love isn't like  a fairy tale. It's not some knight sweeping a princess off her feet; true love is trying to be there for each other and putting up with each other's flaws. Its the willingness to accept every part of someone, positive or negative, and still be happy with the person. Someone with a higher, or older, love maturity will view love as not being romantic all the time, maybe once in awhile, but will view it as the ability to endure the worst of the worst with each other and still maintain the same level of respect for each other and oneself.

It is the willingness to avoid doing something and not complaining about it. For example, if your loved one is allergic to a food and you eat that food, then you won't try to kiss them with your tongue or complain that you can't kiss them with your tongue. You would accept and understand that they are allergic to the food you just ate. As Christians say "Through sickness and through health," you will be there for them. (However, that is about the only traditional Christian vow that applies to what true love is, but isn't a beautiful one?).


Merry part and blessed be, Dear Seeker. This will be continued in part two.